My current employer is the 4th company I’ve done for. I’ve been here a year and the sheer complexity of the product I work on still confuses the hell out of me sometimes after a year. I’m a lot more competent than I was a year ago, but there are still basic things that I am learning about a year later. Too much to write out here, but they totally dropped the ball in onboarding me to begin with and I still have never gotten like an overview or explanation of things. The new hires since I started have all been treated much better.

Anyway, here I am a year later with a seemingly incomplete understanding of how everything relates and now I am being pressed to help out with establishing AC, which is fine, but the people I work with seem to have this unreasonable expectation that I am an expert when I am not. Also, I’ve never been asked at any previous jobs to do this so it’s new.

Is this just imposter syndrome or what? I am not a very confident person to begin with but man, I still feel underwater sometimes after a year! In all of my previous roles, I felt very comfortable and competent after 6-9 months so this is hard on me. For all of my senior team members, this is their first job out of college and I don’t think they have the context to appreciate how painful it is to test here.

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